Where to go from here

So, you may be thinking I've given up, and I guess in a small way I have.  I've given up on my plan, my goals, not my writing.  Things got a little crazy at work, at home, in general.  Then a few nights ago after several days being snowed in with the kids and surviving a nasty stomach bug that made the rounds of the entire house, I found myself completely unable to sleep.

My novel was running in circles in my head.  I could hear my characters talking to each other, themselves.  A weird narrative poem started forming in my mind, and I absolutely couldn't sleep.  I would open my eyes, purposefully get my mind focused on something besides my novel, then close my eyes.  Almost immediately, the story would force itself back into my thoughts leaving me tossing and turning and pondering next moves.

I went downstairs, typed up the two stanzas of the narrative poem, and went back to bed.  Initially, I laid there while a third stanza worked itself out, then abruptly fell asleep at last.  The next day, I was all inspired to get back to work on the novel.  I re-read some chapters in a few books on different aspects of how to write a novel.  I dug out an old novel writing workbook, and decided to do some of the pre-planning work for my novel that is already in progress.  I did a little internet research for some peripheral background details on aspects that will make a difference in the novel, but not really show up.  I even realized a few problems I have that are either holding me back from finishing or in the least, making it difficult to get going again.

I have no idea how to plot, plan, or any other type of before work on a novel.  I can't do this on short stories either.  I get an image, an idea, a character, a phrase, and I build a story from there.  I'm not even sure I even write stories.  I believe I write in-depth character sketches with intense personal stakes and internal tension.  However, there is no real plot.  There is no story arch.  There is definitely no climax, resolution, or any other form of an ending.

I have read book after book after book about novel writing.  I've purchased workbooks that provide formulaic worksheets, broad creative worksheets, outlining suggestions, outlining outlines.  I have no idea how to follow those.  I have no idea how to create something out of nothing except by actually writing, and when I do that, I get sketches, I don't get stories or novels.  I'm frustrated but energized. 

So for now, there will be no vocabulary practice, no writing exercises, no unnecessary requirements for how often I will blog.  I'm going to try to figure out what comes next.  I'm going to attempt some basic prewriting work, perhaps some plotting, maybe some outlining.  Eventually, sooner rather than later, I will get to a point where what comes next is obvious and I will move forward.

There is the potential that I will be attending six weeks of writing workshops this summer.  Two of the weeks are fiction and are paid for by me.  Four of the weeks are about being a writing instructor and come with a stipend, graduate credit, and re-certification points.

This is where I am...